I came across this post longtime ago from Kevin Djakpor’s Blog with the caption: “RICHEST BLACK WOMAN, FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA SAYS, MY MOT...
I came across this post longtime ago from Kevin Djakpor’s Blog with the caption: “RICHEST BLACK WOMAN, FOLORUNSHO ALAKIJA SAYS, MY MOTHER IN-LAW DIDN’T LIKE ME BUT I TREATED HER LIKE MY HUSBAND WOULD.”
Before I begin to draw out the life changing lessons from this write up, something strikes me. The last line in the heading: “…But I treated her like my husband would.” Let me ask, how many of our modernized women would want to treat their mother-in-law just the way their husband would do. If you understand the love of a mother to her children, then you will understand this.
Now, let me say this, no matter how your in-laws hated you, the best way to win them over, is to still shower them with love inspite of their presumed hating. Sometimes, their hating, is their presumed ways to win your love and also test your real person if actually, you are worthy of their trust and love.
In continuation from the article which began thus: “After almost four decades of silence, Nigerian-born globe’s richest black woman, Mrs Folorunsho Alakija, has revealed the many pains, rejections and frustrations she had to bear with equanimity in the hands of her mother in-law, prior and after their marriage.”
And I say, marriage is all about taking in the pains, the frustration and the many insults that come with it. Do not feel it is all a bed of rose. It has it roses and thorns too. Actually, you need both to make it a perfect union. Learn to take it as it comes. Live with it and face it without regret. When you are in it, block your ears and eyes to negative attitudes that will spring up. If you are focus and centre it on love, you will always smile no matter the challenges. Remember, the reason for this is that it will never be permanent but temporal. Speaking to a jam-packed church, she said her mother in-law never wanted a Yoruba woman and Muslim as a daughter in-law. This is what she said:
“My husband’s mother was Igbo, while her dad was from South-West here. And because of this, my mother in-law never wanted a Yoruba woman to marry her son. She was not comfortable also with my Muslim background then. She wanted an Igbo daughter in-law, but my husband said it’s me or nothing”.
Looking at it critically, we can see where her Mother-in-law was coming from – the element of tribe, religious background and whom she wanted as a daughter-in-law. I like what she said at the last sentence. “…but my husband said it is me or nothing”. Really sometimes, it is not of essence to be a mummy’s boy when your destiny is at stake. It is good to muster all the courage within you to take a decision. Men be wise!
In continuation of her speech, she said, “It was a tough battle until God finally prevailed… Whenever she wanted something from my husband and was not getting it immediately, she would start attacking me and saying I’m the one stopping her son from doing her biddings”.
When your in-laws seems not to like your face, bear it in mind that all the troubles in the house, will be a reference to you as the architect of it all. Yours is to take it as it comes and do the one thing that is needful. Take it all to God in prayer. Prayer is the key. Do not let anyone deceived you, when you pray; there is nothing that will ever be impossible. Prayer moves mountain. It is the secret key to unlock every difficult time and marriage for it is no exception.
Still speaking further, she said, “It was also an issue when she asked for a baby girl from me and I could not give her. I have four boys in my marriage… at some point, I was encouraged to fight back by my husband, but I refused and kept praying to God to change her”.
Marriages come with its ups and downs. The issue of children is sometimes a big blow that brings down the undying love that exists between couples. Maturity in marriages is tested on this ground. It takes love and understanding for the couples to pass the temptation that comes in here. Pressure will come from external forces and the very ones within. Now is the time for the couple to show love and not to find fault. Togetherness at this point is much more needed. Even when her husband at a point encouraged her to fight back, she refuses and kept praying to God to change her. Like I said before, prayer is the key to make a permanent change in any given situation.
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